This post is probably going to make me sound like a total bitch, but it's not like you guys didn't already know that about me. :D
So. In high school I was "friends" with this girl named Valerie (name changed to protect, um, well no one I guess). I use the term friend loosely because we weren't really close or anything. Her mom used to give me rides home, and we hung out a couple times. Before our Senior year, she moved to Arizona and we started writing to each other. Over time, we have written less and less frequently, but we still sort of keep in touch and send birthday and xmas presents. It's been about 3 years now that I just really kind of want this friendship to end. I mean, we weren't even good friends to begin with. I have nothing in common with this girl anymore. If I try to write a letter, I have absolutely nothing to say to her. She really kind of annoys me. She sends about 5 email forwards a day, and they are just stupid. I don't mind getting a forward every once in awhile if it's actually funny and not just "Send this on to 2,000 friends or you will die!" type shit. I don't even look at them anymore, I just automatically hit delete. And don't even get me started on the presents she sends me. I know, I know, it's the thought that counts and it's horrible to criticize gifts, but ugh! Everything she sends me is some little trinkety type thing. Decorative (fugly) candles that you can't even burn, fuzzy yellow dice (wtf?), a furry yellow cover for a rearview mirror (matches the dice. Again WTF? Am I 12?), xmas ornaments (I have never put up a tree), etc. Just all this shit that I feel guilty about throwing away, so I put it in a box and it collects dust.
Anyway, last year I really decided that I did not want to continue this friendship. So I went the cowardly route and decided to ignore her. I did not write, I didn't send gifts or cards. She still sent me something for my birthday, I think. I don't remember about xmas. That may have been the fuzzy dice incident. She is still sending me email forwards, and the thing that has inspired this post is that she used to send them to an old email address I have that I only check about once every 3 months. But now! she has somehow decided to start spamming my Yahoo email too. I'm not even sure how she knows that address. I must've given it to her a long time ago. It just really annoys me.
I knew this girl very briefly almost 10 years ago. She's a nice girl and I wish her well, but I really wish she would just take the hint and leave me alone. *sigh*
Commence with calling me a bitch...
Now. :)
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If I could do it all again, I'd go back and change everything. If you gave me back those years, I'd do it all better, I swear.
15 comments:
I don't think you're a bitch for feeling this way at all. Maybe for some other things... kidding!
I can't believe you send gifts to a notreally a friend. ...but then, I guess I'm a bitch because the only peeps I gift to at Xmas are those who I will actually see ON Xmas, plus my nephews who I send to in the mail because they live in Ohio & Tennessee.
I don't even exchange gifts (b-day or Xmas) with my sisters & brother anymore. It gets to be too much, what with 10 kids to buy for.
bitch
Aww, poor Jen. What an icky situation! I think you should make up a new email adress (on Yahoo) and ask her to send everything there instead. Then forget the password and be done with it. (tell her you're closing the current one due to spam or something)
If you keep ignoring the actual gifts and cards and whatnot, she will get the picture eventually.
Sorry you're going through this.
{{hugs}}
(see? I DO still love you!)
Well, in all honesty Nutz, most of the time I forgot about buying her something until I got a package in the mail and then I would scramble to find just a little something to send her because I didn't want to be rude and not return a gift.
I love you too, Glow. :P
*smooch* MM. I'm not going to set up a new email account. I have too many already. And I'm certainly not going to encourage her to spam me somewhere else! LOL. I've always just ignored her forwards. I've never responded to them and I've never sent her one. Hopefully she will get the point soon. :)
Block her email address, or reply back to those stupid annoying send to 20 people or die and tell her to take you off her bulk mailing list.
Yeah, I would just block her address. Mark it as spam.
Well, I'm going to sound like a bitch here also but I don't think taking the cowardly way out is the right thing to do. Didn't you once blog about a friend who you emailed back and forth with suddenly stopped and you wished that they had at least let you know that they were going to be away or something?
You've been exchanging gifts, letters, emails with this girl for many years now. I don't think it's very nice to just stop. Be honest with her. Well, honest in a nice way. Just let her know what you told us. That you just don't think you have much in common anymore and will probably not be keeping in touch with her. Cut the cord.
Good luck.
*smooch*
That's a very good point, Nookie. Though the situations were slightly different, in that the person who cut off contact with me was someone who I was talking to on a semi-weekly basis and this girl and I only communicate with twice a year. But you are right. It's not nice to just ignore her, and I've been trying to think of a decent way to tell her that I don't think we will be friends anymore. I like what you wrote. I do always try to be honest with people, and this should be no different. Whether I tell her or ignore her, she'll probably think of me as a bitch regardless, so I should do the right thing and tell her.
Thank you for your advice. *smooch*
Very true, they were different situations. I'm sure you do remember how painful it was though to not really know what happened to that person.
I know you have a good heart. And, you are right, she may think of you as a bitch either way. Doing it the honest way though may alleviate you both wasting more of your time.
*smoooch*
Oh no. I hate obligatory gifts. *sigh*
Nookie always has the best advice.
Frankly (and I hate to point this out) but Nookie is being much too practical and mature. I really think that you should rethink taking her advice.
Sorry Jen.
I agree with mm. *giggles*
Ben there, done her...oops, meant done that. You're not a bitch, well not any bitchier than normal that is *ducks*
*WHACKS mm & Boo*
Yeah, schnookie is much too mature. I think you should start sending this woman really AWEFUL gifts.
Like severed toes and such.
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