This weekend I watched a movie called Americano starring my boyfriend Joshua Jackson. (side note: if that was not a body double, he has the most delicious bubble butt I've ever seen. I wanna squeeze it. mmmmm.) But anyway, the movie is about a guy going through a quarter-life crisis, not sure what he wants to do with his life or who he really is, who takes a trip with his two friends to Pamplona, Spain to participate in the running of the bulls. They meet up with a local woman who takes them around the country for various adventures. This movie really spoke to me. I wish I was the kind of person who loved travelling and new adventures, but I'm not. I'm always so afraid of new experiences, of things I don't know, and I generally just live in my little bubble of boring comfort. This movie made me want to change that. I want to do new things, try new things, learn about new things. And learn about myself in the process. (Gee, maybe I'm having a quarter-life crisis, too.) So, this is going to be my goal for my trip to San Francisco. To enjoy the experience of travelling to a new place and doing new things, without worrying all the time or being afraid and self-conscious to the point of paralysis. I want to go with the flow, be spontaneous, laid-back, take in all the sights and different walks of life, all without worrying. I want to have the trip of a lifetime. A trip that will change me, and motivate me to do something with my life instead of floating through on a routine every day. Maybe I'm expecting too much and putting too much pressure on a 4 day trip to California, maybe I should go run with the bulls instead LOL, but this is the furthest I've ever been away from home, the biggest trip I've ever taken, and I'm doing it for me, because it's something I want to do. Anything could happen, and for once I am not going to be afraid of whatever may come. At least I'm going to try. Maybe I need to watch this movie again right before I leave for inspiration (and also to see that ass again. mmmmm.)
A song that conveys what I'm feeling: (which coincidentally is from the great movie Garden State starring my former boyfriend Zach Braff and is also about a quarter-life crisis. Heh.)
Let Go, by Frou Frou
Drink up baby down
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me
Too busy
Writing your tragedy
These mishaps
You bubble wrap
When you've no idea what you're like...
So let go (let go)
Jump in
Oh well whatcha waiting for
It's all right
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So let go (so let go)
Just get in
Oh it's so amazing here
It's all right
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
It gains the more you give
and it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote
Can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow
Such boundless pleasure
We've no time for later now
You can't await your own arrival
You've twenty seconds to comply
So let go (let go)
Jump in
Oh well whatcha waiting for
It's all right
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So let go (mm let go)
Just get in
Oh it's so amazing here
It's all right
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown (x2)
'cause there's beauty in the break down
Breakdown
So amazing here
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
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If I could do it all again, I'd go back and change everything. If you gave me back those years, I'd do it all better, I swear.
12 comments:
*smooch*
I like this post very much. I like you very much. I never saw the movie, so I can't speak for that. I did, however, rewatch Garden State this weekend. That movie? I very much like.
I didn't really start liking this movie (Americano) until about halfway through. I was only watching it for Joshua. Heh.
I loooove Garden State. One of the few movies I actually own on dvd. I might have to watch that one again before the trip too. :)
*smooch* I like you very much as well.
I think you will have fantastic adventures on your trip. Go out for a walk one morning by yourself. Buy coffee in a strange looking shop, go into stores you normally wouldn't & do lots of people watching.
I read this to Michelle and we are both very proud of you. I hope you do get here and feel comfortable and relaxed and can just enjoy the experience of travelling to a new place. We're certainly do our part to help that along.
First up: *buy jello for the bathtub for Jen's first new experience* *smooch*
Oooh! Maybe I should go with you when you run with the bulls!
You should definitely take in the full experience of your trip. See new places, do new things, have fun with it. Although, I can't imagine you won't have fun when you're with Carey!
umm. I don't think I'll be letting Jen go out for a walk by herself. We're going to San Francisco where all the (what was it again, Carey?) freaky deviants live!
17 days!!!!!!!!!!111
okay. I'm getting to my project now. For real.
We are indeed a city of freaky deviants. *grin*
Yes, mom. *hangs head*
Go for it, Jen!
Phew! I was starting to panic at the thought of taking a walk by myself, but Glow has saved me. *sigh of relief*
*grin*
*smooch* I am very proud of you and hope that you have a great time. I must admit (hopefully this outlook will help you out) that I am a lot better about anxiety/self-consciousness issues now that I live in a big-ish city and moved away from a small town where no one knows me. It is very freeing and one of the reasons I love it so much. I can do anything-from going to dinner alone to going into places I might not normally just because I'm curious to wiping out in the middle of a snowy sidewalk and not care because there likelihood that anyone who witnessed it is anyone that I care about or will ever even see again is infinitely small. So I do what I want and like it much better. :)
*smooch*
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